February 23, 2009

It was time to take down and pack up the piece yesterday afternoon.  De-installation is always sort of a bittersweet moment; nice to be done with it (until the next time!) but also sad since it was so much work and it will never live again in the exact same way.  Onwards and upwards I guess!  Next time it will evolve into something different–I don’t know what or when or how yet, but I’m sure it will on its own terms.  By now it absolutely has the ability to stand on its own, I’m here to just give it some direction every now and then but it is its own entity;  I can only be so controlling and obsessive…

Again I forgot my camera, but I did borrow one from the Arsenal to take a final set of shots in its birth context and a few of the sorting and packing process.  Hopefully I’ll get those soon and be able to post a few here. 

I am hoping to be much better about keeping this blog relatively consistent.  Entries will probably rise as a particular project draws to a close or enters a space, but outside of those fluctuations, it would be great to use this as a means of documenting my processes on any and all projects in as continuous a way as possible.  It’s been six weeks since I wrote something–I know this because the show was 6 weeks and my previous post was written the day after the opening–and I’d like to really work on posting entries more consistently.  My excuse in recent weeks is job troubles and those are about to change pretty dramatically so… we’ll see what my new schedule allows.  I handed in my resignation today with the intention of focusing my time and energies on art making instead of design.  Given the current state of the economy (yes, I’m aware we are in a recession), this was a pretty difficult decision to make, but I’ve been feeling the need to make this change for a long time and handing in my resignation will be the quickest and easiest way to begin changing the way I work in a forcibly proactive way.  It was also an incredibly difficult decision on a personal level; I love my boss and we have a really great design team so it’s very sad to have to say goodbye.  But I’m also ridiculously psyched for the change and I can’t wait to see how everything will play out.  I don’t have anything else lined up, and while this is terrifying since I have no savings to live off of and a laundry list of monthly student loans to pay, I’m also very excited by the limitless possibilities this allows.  I really don’t know what will be next!  But I do know it’s a step in the right direction.  I’ve thought about it enough over the last six weeks (and really, the last 6 months) to know this is something I HAVE to do, and why not during a recession?  Artists have a tendency to be poor during the best of times so will it really make a big difference?  I’m not quitting the day job in order to live off of selling art, so in that sense the recession won’t affect me in my new role as starving artist at all.  And it has the added benefit of giving someone else who probably really wants and needs my job an opportuniy where there wasn’t one before.  Granted, I’m not doing this for un-selfish reasons, it just so happens that someone who will appreciate the job more will get to take my place.

To make sure this really was what I wanted, I wrote a sort of memoir/essay about the thought process behind this decision.  It was as much about convincing myself as it is about convincing other doubters, so if you have any interest in reading it, let me know and I’ll send it on to you.  I try to avoid writing extremely personal, self-reflective, self-indulgent entries here (although lets be honest, blogs are pretty self-indulgent) unless it’s directly related to a project I’m working on.  While this is related to my overall process, I’m not sure it’s necessary to subject everyone to it, so just drop me a note if you’re interested in hearing my reasoning for this seemingly insane move.

Moral to the story is, now that the show is over and I’m quitting my job, I will hopefully be diving head first into the next big project in the next month and will continue to write with more regularity.  Unemployment, here I come!

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